0
So, I’ve mentioned before that I've got a crush on someone. And I have to admit that i was TOTALLY wrong. She’s not only a crush to me. She’s like…. I dont know, something’s lot deeper than just a crush. Or fling. Summer fling, actually, because this is summer (uummm, ACTUALLY, indonesia does not have summer, but i’ll use that term, if you dont mind). Okay, back to topic, haha. This, us, i guess, will end up somewhere. I dont know yet, we’ve only been texting for like a month, without seeing each other, cause she’s like 1000kms away from me: she’s staying in surabaya on holiday and im in jogja. But i guess, i HOPE, this will end happily somewhere somewhen and somehow.
God, I cant stop thinking about her especially when I got nothing to do. It feels like it can really kill me, softly, painfully: ‘it’ refers to the consciousness about how I miss her. I really seem like someone who deeply fall in love right. I dont dare saying that I'm already in love, it’s big thing you know, love, and stuff. But, surely, I like her. More than just a ‘like’, honestly.
Mmm, but i'm worried about something. It doesnt actually come from her, its me. I've known her for months and had this… amazing feeling for a month or so, I've met her, its not like something ever happened to me: have a crush on someone you met on facebook. BUT, i'm worried because this kind a thing usually happen on me in holiday. I'm afraid if the real world comes, I go back studying etc, I’ll just… you know… forget these? I hope this won’t end like that. I am, totally, start to fall for her. She’s like the best thing ever happened on this holiday, and FOR THE FIRST TIME EVEERRRRRR ,I have something in common about guys I should date. And that common thing it’s her.
HOOORAAAAAY
I know, he ever likes somegirl for me to date, that girl is my ex-crush, but, she doesnt really like her anymore for this reason:
she’s pretty damn
she doesnt like pretty guys. she thinks they’re all bad. But my-something’s-much-more-than-just-a-crush-but-not-yet-to-be-my-love here, she’s not bad also. She’s good looking enough (and only thinking of his face make me blushing and smiling to myself. remember, i'm doing this at my school’s library. alone) but yeah, you cant identify her as “pretty damn”. likes it if i see a girl not from he’s physical appearance, but more about she’s personality and ‘religious-ity’.
I'm saying that dosent mean that she (my-something’s-much-more-than-just-a-crush-but-not-yet-to-be-my-love) doesnt have a good physical appearance. She’s amazing to me. The way she smiles, the way she talks, the way she walks, the way she laughs. The way she looked at me at the first time we met. everything just seems so right on her.
When I meet my pals, only God knows, why I keep talking about her. its only her I’d like to talk about. When my pal starts a conversation about her, its really hard to stop. God, i cant stop smiling right now. She’s ‘conquering’, ‘taking’ all my mind, most of the time. If you ask me to describe her in 5 words, i wont be able to do that. There are not enough good words in this world which can describe her.
And I damn miss her. I get sicker day by the day she’s not here. right im here noone and i have no right to take her from his little familiy gathering that almost takes a month (yeah that’s sarcasm). I wanna see that smile of her. That… everything on her. And… these days i've been wondering what it feels like to hold her hands, you know, to be around her.
I feel hard to stop typing. Well, this post is already all about her. Damn it, i like her so much. I know this is something bigger, more serious than just a crush,a fling. Word ‘like’ is not even enough to describe this. And as I said, ‘love’ ( seni seviyorum ) maybe too much, im not… sure? You think Im psycho, whatever. This feeling is amazing that i dont care too much of what people will probably say. Im hardly breathing right now, it just feel so… right.
Well, I gotta stop this (typing I mean, not the feeling).
Thank God if she ever reads this, and likes me back.
Thank God if she ever reads this, and likes me back.
Thank God if things between us go well
Thank God, You bring her to my life.. :)